Anndi's Luggage: One year...
With love and pride
I was humbled
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Location: Somewhere near Montreal, Quebec, Canada

If somebody doesn't believe in me, I can't believe in them.


Monday, January 14, 2008

One year...

...and I can still feel her hands. They were warm til the end... but so frail. The hands that dressed me as a child. The hands that rolled dough to make Dad his favourite apple pie. The hands that wrote thoughtful notes in that handwriting of hers that was always so neat and even. The hands that craddled my daughter while she rocked her to sleep and held her for hours, rubbing my baby's back. The hands that comforted so many people as they struggled with loss, poverty, and all forms of hardships we are made to endure as we make our way through life.

I can still see her lying on that bed with Pepe the parrot tucked in with her (he now sleeps with Chicklet every night).

I hear her breathe... that's how I measured if it was going to be a good day or if she was going to be in a lot of pain.

I remember the feel of the chair at the end of her bed. The chair I slept in every night in case she needed something, to be there to help the orderlies on the night shift when came time to change her and shift her to the other side.

I remember...

My mother was my safe harbor... she comforted me when I was sick with Chicken pox and had to stay home while I could hear my friends playing outside. She was my rock when I thought maybe something was wrong with my baby's precious heart. She stood by me when my marriage fell apart.

I still need her.

I still miss her.

I posted this song the night my mother joined the ranks of the angels...

it's a song for her, for me, for my daughter.

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Comments on "One year..."


Blogger Leighann said ... (11:58 AM) : 

Thanks for making me cry today. :(

Beautiful song!


Blogger Anndi said ... (12:19 PM) : 

Leighann: I always forget to post the tissue alert. I guess we all have someone we've lost and with our humanity comes the gift of feeling another's pain. Thank you. I always thought it was, and now even more so.


Blogger Bond said ... (12:52 PM) : 

MY BFF... I remember last year...and the time you spent in that chair...

I thought of you as my eyes opened today...I remember the song from last year...

Know you have many friends out here who are always a place of comfort, especially on the anniversaries...



Blogger Anndi said ... (1:11 PM) : 

Vince: can I take my woobie and nap on the Couch?


Blogger Bond said ... (1:42 PM) : 

Today and ANYTIME you would like...

You know already


Blogger Real Live Lesbian said ... (3:43 PM) : 

Yep, that one definitely needed a tissue alert!

Beautiful all around.


Blogger Anndi said ... (4:21 PM) : 

Vince: thanks BFF...

RLL: She was... thank you.


Blogger Desert Songbird said ... (5:18 PM) : 

It's never totally easy, but it does get a tad easier. Slowly, little by little, year by year.

Hugs to you. I feel your pain.


Blogger buffalodickdy said ... (5:34 PM) : 

You are such a caring person... I felt what you wanted to convey-nicely written, and my very late condolences...


Blogger Mimi Lenox said ... (7:19 PM) : 

Aww Anndi. So sweet. So honest and heartfelt and you. Your mother is proud of you and the woman you've become. We are all proud to know you and send you hugs.

Thank you for sharing her with us.


Blogger Dixie said ... (8:50 PM) : 

My dear little sis...

I truly love you... and one day we will meet face to face ... you are a wonderful friend!



Blogger Travis said ... (9:01 PM) : 

She's still with you. I wish you and Chicklet peace today.



Blogger Roger said ... (11:34 PM) : 

That is is beautiful post Anndi! If I was not a tougher man I would...already doing it...I have my own tissues thanks.


Blogger Jeff B said ... (12:32 AM) : 

She had to be one increadible woman to raise such a loving and caring daughter. Beautifully done my dear.


Blogger Gail said ... (1:42 AM) : 

I remember...and I am here for you, twinny.



Blogger Turnbaby said ... (4:00 AM) : 

She lives on in you and your beautiful Chicklet but that doesn't always ease the ache.

I wish I could thank her for you.

I love you Angelbaby{{{{HUGS}}}}


Blogger Anndi said ... (6:46 AM) : 

Songbird: I know you do and yours hugs help. Thank you!

Buffalodickdy: I hope I can show you a glimpse of how wonderful Mom was... thank you dear.

Mimi: Thank you for your kindness my friend.

Dixie: I'm counting on it sis! SMOOCH

Travis: I know she's watching over us. Thanks bro... love you.

Roger: You've been a wonderful friend... thank you sweetie. Make sure it's the soft kind.

Jeff: Just speaking from the heart.. she inspires great love. Thank you.

Gail: I love you twinny... always.

Turnbaby: No it doesn't... Thank you for your friendship babe. I love you!



Blogger the108 said ... (11:19 AM) : 

Miss Anndi... you have such power with your words. This is so beautiful. Your mama would be so proud...

Hugs, sister..


Blogger Anndi said ... (1:15 PM) : 

Kyra sweetheart: The heart takes over, when love comes forth it's easy... I just hope to leave on my Chicklet such an impression as my mother did with me.

Hugs to you sister!


Blogger Dana said ... (7:07 PM) : 

It's hard losing someone you love so much. Be glad you spent time with her and you know you loved each other. And never forget the good times.


Blogger Bud Weiser, WTIT said ... (5:52 PM) : 

That was very moving. While I only know you in the blogosphere, there is no doubt in my mind your mom was very proud of you. You seem to be such a great person, and you wrote such a terrific tribute.


Blogger Julie said ... (8:56 AM) : 

An entire year already? I remember this song too...I remember wanting to hug you and hold your tissues for you.

I love this internet group we have created...I still wanna hug you too!


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