Thursday Thirteen... Traveling...

During the Holiday season, there is so much traveling... And LUGGAGE! And I do love luggage... not as much you fine folk… but… I was inspired... Poor Vince had to run through the airport à la O.J. Simpson… Great visual! Sorry sweetie, but it is… really! So it got me to thinking of the joys of traveling and airports… some jokes, vids, tunes and true stuff… I’m all about variety... sample, enjoy the drinks are on me! 1-Try explaining to a Canadian Customs agent you went to Cleveland for a vacation: “You went to Cleveland?” she asks doubtful… “Yes” I respond, tired and annoyed, it’s late I want to pick up the car and get home. “On vacation?” she says eyeing me like I’m the Beelzebub. “Yes” sigh… “On vacation” I refuse to play Cleveland tourism Board spokeswoman (I handle Charmin exclusively... Charmin, The Official and Proud Sponsor of the Golden Onions) “In Cleveland?” right eyebrow raised (reminds me of a green dude I once knew)… “Yes” What part of Yes doesn’t she understand? “And how often do you travel Madame? Please unpack your bags” ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 2-Post 9-11… Imagine the look on a U.S. Customs official when they find out you are the head of occupational health and safety for a chemical plant… can you say baggage search? 3- The Joys of the security checkpoint: So where does one apply for this position? 4-They let anyone travel these days.. (I was given a hard time… and yet.. sheesh!) 5-Signs You have a Bad Airplane Pilot 10. You overhear him say on the intercom "Hey, Pedro, What's this gizmo do?" 9. For the past two hours, you've been going straight up 8. He says, "We're cruising at an altitude of 40 feet" 7. Co-pilot is sitting on his lap 6. When you take off he yells, "Weeeeeeeeee!" 5. At some point he announces, "Screw Chicago, Let's go find that Mars observer!" 4. He's wearing a Domino's Pizza uniform 3. Over P.A. you hear, "Heh, heh, heh, this plane sucks, heh, heh, heh" 2. As you get on the plane you recognize the pilot as the same guy who drove your cab to the airport 1. Keeps referring to the control tower as "Mommy" 6-Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in ATLANTA. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings...It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says,"I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No....." "Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!" 7- Boeing 747-400 take off on Ch. de Gaulle You should be ashamed of yourself.. you were waiting for some sort of crash or false maneuver weren’t you! 8-Speaks for itself…. 9-I’ve never been treated to a concert (the Krishnas don’t count) at the airport.. Here’s David Bowie and Tin Machine Live at the LA airport in 1991. David Bowie With Tin Machine 10- I’ve always loved this man’s voice… This song was released the year I was born.. BestAudioCodes.com Tragically, he left us all too soon on October 12th 1997, doing one of the things he loved most… Flying... 11- Ah now, a classic… So wrong.. bwahahahahahahahahaha!! 12- A song that brings back so many memories… Wow I was a child back then… BestAudioCodes.com 13- A bit of traveling music… by Jefferson Airplane BestAudioCodes.com Leave a comment and get linked here.. them's the rules.. 1. First one out of the gate.. must be all that running he did: Bond! 2. Coco 3. Busy, all hail the Queen Mother 4. Starrlight 5. SueAnn married lady 6. Julie 7. Travis, the Sultan of Silly who has been writing 8. Maryfly my hoochie Can't link em.. but don't want to forget them...: Meribah the sweet duck-chasing llama running away from puppy The Damm squeeeeeeeezable duck Love you all way more than my luggage! Hugs, smooches and gropes!