Anndi's Luggage
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Location: Somewhere near Montreal, Quebec, Canada

If somebody doesn't believe in me, I can't believe in them.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A boy's best friend is his frog?

This joke is for my Hoochie sister Dixie...


A young boy, about 14 years old was walking down the street, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him.

He came to a house of ill repute, and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, 'I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it.'

The Madam figured, what the hell, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.

He said, 'I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want.'

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.

Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, 'Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?'


He said, 'Well, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she's very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught.

When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.



In the morning when Dad goes to work, the milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom, and catch the disease, and



HE'S the son-of-a-bitch that ran over my frog!



Love you all more than my luggage!
Hugs, smooches and gropes!

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Friday funnies... for the ladies...

I got this via e-mail this morning and since I'm too excited to write anything coherent...
Bham in 1 day...

OMG OMG OMG

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


Here are a few funnies...

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q&A and more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand :

1. OTHER WOMEN



"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."


Love you all more than my Luggage!
Hugs, Smooches and Gropes

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