The nudge...

I haven’t actually written anything really in quite a while. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot, especially in blogland, mostly because I’ve been just so tired lately. The kind of tired where I fall asleep in front of the boobtube while hanging out on the chesterfield (cause I never fall asleep on The Couch), only to wake up around 3AM, turn off the boobtube and proceed to fall back asleep instead of heading off to bed… sheesh! The only contact I’ve held with some of the most wonderful people God saw fit to grace the earth with lately has been through my H&H family, an e-mail group I belong to (thanks to Queen Dana) and the sillies sent sporadically, but somehow just at the right time, by one of my cyber buds (cause it’s all about Jo). So… I was possessed last night (yeah, I know... and NO, this is not a spooky or clever Halloween story) by a strong and overwhelming urge to reach out to a friend who’s been going through a lot lately. And although I’m the last person to interfere with someone’s requests for privacy and quiet time (well, unless I feel I need to shove a little), something made me include this person in an e-mail because I got this feeling she needed a massive giggle. Maybe reaching out to someone who needs support makes our own problems more bearable. I heard back from my friend and Soul Sister by choice and made my way over to her blog at her behest today, and I read yesterday's post. What I found brought a rush of emotion and tears that not even the strongest dam (no, not the Duck) could hold back (shut up, I’m not a softie). As angry as I was, deep and profound sadness overtook me. You can poopoo (yes, it’s a word and I’m using it) the idea of fate or kismet all you want. But I tell you, there was something nudging me when I wrote my response to a quite cheeky joke a sweet friend sent to the lot of us fortunate enough to be included in her silliness. I hesitated for a long time to hit send, and every time I would take this person’s e-mail off the reply list, my fingers would start typing her name again and pulling her e-mail address up. This went on for a good 5 minutes. And for me to sit on what I thought was a clever comeback for 5 minutes is no small feat. – Now, don’t you roll your eyes at me… yes, sometimes my comebacks are clever and if you contradict me I’ll be forced to sneak up on you in the middle of the night and scare the shite out of you by banging a cowbell (testing, testing) over your head… Now, I was saying… I now know what, or rather, I know who nudged me. Mom. Yesterday morning, I was thinking of my Soul Sisterfriend Sue and her journey as she accompanies her friend Dee in her final days. I wondered out loud how she must be doing. You see, Dee is fighting a losing battle with cancer but is serene as she has lead a good life, loved much and leaves quite a legacy. And then yesterday evening, as The Chicklet was eating her pre-trick-or-treat dinner, I quickly checked my e-mails. There it was… the cheeky joke. Again, it reminded me of my Soul Sisterfriend, and the reply just typed itself as did her name in the "reply to" section… So here’s how I see it: Mom, having gone through so much of what I can only imagine what Dee is going through, raised this to my attention. It’s that simple. I’ve given up trying to rationalize any of this and I’ve given in to believing. Leave it to Mom to use a chicken joke to do this… For a close to a month now, I’ve been wearing a necklace that belonged to my mother, just a simple gold chain with a delicately carved cross. It gives me comfort, partly because it was hers… and partly because it reminds me there is a higher power. I’ve asked Mom to keep an eye on them. I pray for Dee’s daughter Renee and hold her in my heart because I know what it’s like to watch your mother’s body wilt as the soul is about to embark on the one journey we should all live our lives in preparation of. I pray for Dee. I remember how Mom held on to life, not because she feared death, but because she loved living and probably hadn’t given everything she had left to give yet. I pray for Sue, my Soul Sisterfriend… she’s a strong woman, has been through so much and has brought me no end of smiles over the many months I’ve known her. Today, another link in the chain… someone beloved sent me this: It is so easy to complain!!! There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the World, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.' This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations. Life Is a Gift from God!!! Today before you say an unkind word -Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion. Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren. Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -Think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job -think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and Thank GOD you're alive and still around. Okay Mom, got it… Love you all more than my luggage! Hugs, smooches and gropes!