Anndi's Luggage: 'What if there were no hypothetical questions?' – George Carlin
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Sunday, October 15, 2006

'What if there were no hypothetical questions?' – George Carlin

I’ve been juggling a few subjects lately.. starting to write about something.. then hitting a wall.. (Travis.. I’m still playing with the one about Stevie Ray.. and one about Jonas…)Or like a kitten, I find myself getting distracted by something shiny or sparkly and discovering a whole other topic.. and starting that one..

Have you ever started something only to find you don’t even know where it is you were going with it? And it turns out you never finish it? Or ordering something, taking three bites and although you usually LOVE that dish, it just does NOTHING for you on that particular day at that particular time….

Guess it’s the fun of life…
Or maybe it’s what kids do to your brain…


'If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers.' --Edgar Watson Howe
'In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.' --Lisa T. Shepherd


My chicklet is now in third grade… How did this happen? She’s growing up and there’s nothing I can do to stop her… I know she’s already smarter than I could ever hope to be… she’s the sweetest being on the face of this earth (like my sweet Amanda... and turns out she’ll also be quite the smartass)… she loves with reckless abandon.. hugs the living daylights out of those she loves (the dogs are fine.. no need to call PETA!).. and man does she scare me… She puts herself out there and it’s beautiful. I admire that in her.

I listen, I read every blog from this little group (the ones I know of) and thanks to Vinny there are a bunch of them to read - ok I admit it… you started this Vince.. hope you are happy.. I said it out loud, tongue removed from cheek... it’s all about you and Jo of course! (cause itsallaboutJo).. I don’t post comments on them all.. but I read them because I feel privileged that I get to be a witness to their lives (is there a witness protection program.. or will I have to plead temporary insanity should I be questioned about any of my friends.. )…. Sometimes I feel compelled to encourage a gloating duck or kick someone’s stupid hubby… and sometimes I just want to say… ‘I wuz here’.

But most of all… I want to make sure my friends know I love them, and that everything they say matters… even baseball talk… (is the damn baseball season over yet?)




Revisionist History
Today in 1964
It was announced that
Nikita Khruschev was removed from his positions as premier and secretary of the Communist Party of the USSR. And it was also announced that he was going to like it.

Today in music History
1988
The song "Red Red Wine" by
UB40 topped the charts and stayed there for a week. Hiccup! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Why we love children

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat but it was dead. ‘How do you know that the cat was dead?’ she asked him. ‘Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,’ answered the child innocently. ‘you did WHAT??!!’ the teacher exclaimed in surprise. ‘You know,’ explained the boy, ‘I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.’

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, ‘Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie.’ She says, ‘Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs, too.’

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
‘Da-aaad…’
‘What?’
‘I’m thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?’
‘No. You had your chance. Lights out.’
Five minutes later:
‘Da-aaaaad…’
‘WHAT?’
‘I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?’
‘I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!’
Five minutes later… ‘Daaaaa-aaaaaaad…’
‘When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?’


'You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.' --Franklin P. Adams American journalist

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, ‘How do you expect to get into Heaven?’ The boy thought it over and said, ‘Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!’’

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, ‘Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?’ The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. ‘I can’t dear,’ she said. ‘I have to sleep in Daddy’s room’. A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: ‘The big sissy.’


'Pretty much all the honest truthtelling there is in the world is done by children.' – Oliver Wendell Holmes

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress, and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, ‘That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?’ The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip-on microphone, ‘Yes, and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.’

'Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.' –Unknown

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year-old came into the room as I was preparing to get into the shower. She said, ‘Mommy, you’re getting fat!’ I replied, ‘Yes honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.’ ‘I know,’ she replied, ‘but what’s growing in your butt?’

One day, the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, ‘… and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling!’’ The teacher then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that farmer said?’ One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking chicken!’’ The teacher was unable to teach for the next ten minutes.

That’s why we love kids… God bless them all!

I love you all more than my luggage!
Hugs, smooches and gropes!

Comments on "'What if there were no hypothetical questions?' – George Carlin"

 

Blogger Joey said ... (8:32 PM) : 

you rock g/f!!!

:)

Luv your blog!!!

hugggggggs 'n smoooooochies

luv ya

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:51 PM) : 

ROTFLMOO! Love those jokes!

And my Chicklet is in the 5th grade...how did that happen?

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:20 AM) : 

ANN SWEETNESS
As I keep telling you, you have the wonderful ability to make one smile even when the clouds are pouring down rain on them...Chicklet is so lucky to be guided by someone as wonderful as you...
I have never pissed in a cats ear, though i have shouted.. "getoffthatcouch!"

and I am sitting here shell shocked that you gave me credit for anything... LOL I need to chat with you more often..it seems I am getting through to you!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:53 AM) : 

All I'm going to say today is

I love ya!!!

HUGS, GROPES & WET SLOOPY SMOOCHES!

Lee Ann

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:45 PM) : 

From the mind of Meribah:

I sure can relate to getting distracted! I like bright shiny things too, especially christmas ornaments! When the light hits 'em just the right way...wait, what was I talking about again? LOL

 

Blogger Coco said ... (6:58 PM) : 

BFDUIDFTYUDTY JBBN UYFGYGHGHBHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JJHNHHNU8JHHUYHJHJHJYHKJYUJ UGHHBVGFGTFRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT UHGHHGGGGGGGGGGGGG YGT76UYHNHYY JH JUHUHNHUJNMJHUNBHGFBV GHNMNKL BRENNAN

 

Blogger Coco said ... (7:01 PM) : 

I thought you might like to have a quote from a kid to add to your collection. He said he likes to skate and he's going to be a hockey player someday. Unfortunately, he's a bit confused, as he says he's going to play hockey for the Yankees ...

 

Blogger Sueann said ... (7:21 PM) : 

Love you Anndi!

Sueann

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:49 PM) : 

I taught Kindergarten for three long years. On my cover letter I have for my resume, I mention that fact. And I also say that I learned most of my "people" skills during those years.

And that is the absolute truth!

Your helpful SkyCap-
Lynn

 

Anonymous Travis said ... (11:31 PM) : 

Oh - you should write about Jonas. He deserves to be introduced to the group. And the group deserves to hear him.

He's good.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:59 PM) : 

Those jokes are priceless!! Thanks for sharing. And I know about getting distracted. Why do you think I haven't written in my blog in almost two weeks?

I am proud to have you as a witness to my life (great line by the way - did you like the movie? LOL)

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:31 PM) : 

You are such a friend Anndi, I love you to pieces! Adults can learn alot from children because they truly know how to live!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:57 PM) : 

Definately do not check in often enough. Sorry. but how I enjoyed those jokes!!
Love ya, Robin

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:46 PM) : 

THIS PLACE IS GETTING BORING....WHEN ARE YOU POSTING AGAIN!!!!!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:57 PM) : 

*tapping fingers on desk* patiently waiting.... any day now hoochie.... any day now.... *still tapping fingers on desk*

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:37 PM) : 

YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

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